This page explains the law on spending time with a child when a relationship breaks down, including the different types of contact such as supervised or indirect contact and the family court orders for contact.
What is Contact?
When a relationship ends, decisions need to be made about the arrangements for the child. It will need to be decided which parent the child will live with and how often the other parent will see the child. The time the non-resident parent spends with the child is known as contact.
Contact between a parent and child can be direct, or, in other words, face-to-face, which can include contact during the day or overnight.
Contact may also be indirect, which can include telephone conversations, video calls, e-mails, letters, and gifts.
Contact can also be supervised in a contact centre. This form of contact is an option if there are safeguarding concerns present.
Who is entitled to contact with a child?
Contact is primarily the right of the child and not of the parent or any other person. Therefore, parents do not have an automatic right of contact as such. However, it is expected that where parents have separated, the parent the child lives with allows a reasonable amount of contact with the other parent. Contact can also be facilitated with wider family members, i.e. grandparents, aunts and uncles, siblings.
How much contact can I have?
There is no set amount of time that a parent should have contact with their child. The level of contact that a parent has with their child varies from family to family, as arrangements must take into account the realities of school, childcare, distance between parents houses, work obligations, and after-school clubs. However, it's important that parents are reasonable and strive to reach an agreement that suits their family's individual circumstances and is also in the child's best interests.
Can I refuse contact?
Contact should only be restricted where it is necessary to protect the child's welfare. In fact, unless proven otherwise, the presumption is that the involvement of both parents in the life of the child is in the child's best interests.
If there is an existing court order in place, it could amount to contempt of court if a parent does not make the child available for contact in line with the terms of the court order. To avoid this, an application can be made for the existing order to be varied if circumstances have changed.
Can I force the non-resident parent to have contact?
It is not possible to force a parent to have contact with their child. If there's a court order in place and a parent is not taking up the contact granted to them, even then, it's unlikely that the court will force a parent to have contact. This is because it will generally not be considered in a child's best interests to force a reluctant parent to maintain contact with their child.
What can I do during my contact with a child?
As a general rule, it's up to the individual parent to decide where to take the child and how the time will be spent, within reason. For example, it wouldn't be unlawful for a parent to take their child to get a haircut during contact. However, it would be sensible to mention it to the other parent and seek their consent first, as otherwise it could lead to tension, which would not be in the child's best interests. Therefore, parents should be reasonable, and communication is paramount.
What if we can't agree on contact arrangements?
If parents are unable to reach an agreement on an informal basis, there are legal steps that can be taken. The first stage is to attempt mediation, and if this is unsuccessful, an application can be made to the court for a Child Arrangements Order. The aim of mediation is to lessen conflict and try to resolve disputes amicably. Any parent or other person who wishes to try and resolve contact disputes is required to attempt mediation prior to making an application to court for a Child Arrangements Order. A Child Arrangements Order is a legally binding order made under Section 8 Children Act 1989 that sets out a child's living and contact arrangements. The order will outline who shall have contact with the child, how often it will be, and how long it will be. It can also detail the contact arrangements for special holidays and birthdays.
For more information on this process see our how-to guide on Contact.
Can arrangements be made outside the terms of a court order?
Parents are within their rights to make arrangements outside the terms of the court order if there is agreement and if the court order does not prohibit this. However, it's important to note that these ''informal'' arrangements are not legally binding.
What should I do if my child refuses contact?
A parent should not react by simply stopping contact. They should try to find out why the child does not want contact anymore. It may be that the timing of contact does not suit the child, or there is a worry about the way the child spends time with the non-resident parent. It may also be a reflection of the resident parent's concerns. A child will often say what they think the parent will want to hear.
Children's wishes and feelings are very important and should be taken into account in light of their age and understanding. However, generally, their wishes and feelings will not ultimately determine what happens. In most cases, the courts view contact as being in the best interests of the child, see both parents involvement as a benefit to the child's welfare, and will only refuse to make an order in exceptional circumstances.
What if my child refuses to have contact even though there is a Contact Order (granted prior to 22/4/2014) or a Child Arrangements Order in place?
If the court has made an order for contact, it will expect the resident parent to encourage the child to have contact and ensure that it takes place. However, the child may simply refuse to have contact with the non-resident parent. Where this happens, the resident parent is at risk of being held in contempt of court. It is possible that the non-resident parent will take the case to court. If the child regularly refuses contact, there is the potential to apply to court for a variation of the order or to have it discharged.
What if a parent does not comply with the order?
(Broken court orders)
A court order is legally binding. Failure to comply with the court order amounts to contempt of court, and a person can, as a last resort, be committed to prison for contempt. A parent cannot be held in contempt, though, simply for failing to take up the contact given. For more information see our How to Guide on Contact and on Enforcement of an order for contact or residence.
Can I get legal aid for contact disputes?
Legal aid can help with the costs of mediation if you meet the financial requirements. Legal aid can help with the costs of going to court where there is evidence of domestic abuse or child abuse. For more information on legal aid, see our information pages on:
This information is correct at the time of writing,. The law in this area is subject to change.
Coram Children’s Legal Centre cannot be held responsible if changes to the law outdate this publication. Individuals may print or photocopy information in CCLC publications for their personal use.
Professionals, organisations and institutions must obtain permission from the CCLC to print or photocopy our publications in full or in part.
On this page
This information is correct at the time of writing,. The law in this area is subject to change.
Coram Children’s Legal Centre cannot be held responsible if changes to the law outdate this publication. Individuals may print or photocopy information in CCLC publications for their personal use.
Professionals, organisations and institutions must obtain permission from the CCLC to print or photocopy our publications in full or in part.
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