Family mediation

This page explains the process of family mediation, when mediation is necessary and the expected standards of a family mediator.

What is mediation?

Mediation is a process that allows families to negotiate future arrangements for their children with the assistance of a neutral third party. The mediator does not tell the parties what to do, but can assist them in reaching amicable agreements while also attempting to improve communication between them.

What are the benefits of mediation?

Mediation is recommended when parents find it hard to agree on making suitable arrangements for children after a family breakdown. There are several advantages to attending mediation, such as:

• giving you more control over what decisions are made in relation to children, rather than applying to the courts;
• providing a less stressful way of dealing with sensitive matters;
• improving communication and helping you to sort out future arrangements;
• allowing arrangements to be reviewed and changed easier, so long as they are mutually agreed by both parties; and
• providing a quicker and cheaper way of resolving disputes.

Are agreements made in mediation legally binding?

Agreements made in mediation are not legally binding in the sense that they can be enforced in court. However, the agreement can be used in court later if a Consent Order is sought.

See our page on Consent Orders for more information.

What is a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM)?

A Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) is the initial meeting with a specially trained family mediator to determine whether your issues can be resolved without going to court and whether mediation is a viable option.

What will happen at mediation?

The mediator will assist you and the other parent in working through all of your issues, considering your options, determining whether they would work well in practice, and reaching an agreement on what is best. If you don't want to be in the same room as the other parent, the mediator can set up 'shuttle' mediation. The two parties in dispute are separated into different rooms, and the mediator 'shuttles' between them to try to help them reach an agreement.

If an agreement is reached at mediation, a “memorandum of understanding” will be created by the mediator so everyone understands what has been agreed.

Do I have to go to mediation?

Since April 2014, anyone applying to the courts for assistance in resolving disputes about children or finances will be required to attend a meeting Mediation Information Assessment Meeting first. This includes any applications for:

• Child Arrangements Order
• Specific Issue Order
• Prohibited Steps Order
• Parental Responsibility Order
• An order appointing a Child’s Guardian
• Removal from Jurisdiction Order
• Special Guardianship Order.

Exemptions 

There are certain exemptions available to mediation which are listed in the Part 3 of the Family Procedure Rules and can be found on the C100 form and FM1 form. 

Exemptions include:

• where the relationship involves domestic abuse
• where the child is the subject of a child protection plan or a Section 47 investigation
• where the situation is a matter of urgency, i.e. there's a imminent risk of harm to the child
• where mediation has been attempted within the last four months

What can I expect from my mediator?

A family mediator must act impartially and avoid any conflict of interest. This means that a mediator must not mediate in a dispute where they have acquired relevant information about the parties. Furthermore, a mediator must remain neutral about the outcome of the mediation. They must not seek to enforce their preferred outcome or exert influence on any of the parties.

You must also expect the mediator to keep confidential all details obtained during the course of the mediation. The mediator cannot even disclose information to the court without the consent of both participants. The mediators may only disclose information where there are serious allegations of harm to a child or adult.

Mediation is a voluntary process, and any mediation session can be suspended or terminated if the parties are unwilling to fully participate in the process. Mediators must also encourage participants to consider the children's wishes and feelings.

How long can mediation take?

Mediation can continue as long as the needs of the individual parties involved are met. The first meeting lasts about 45 minutes. Full mediation sessions are typically 1 to 2 hours long, depending on the complexity of the situation.

What is the cost of mediation?

If you have a low income or receive certain benefits, you may be eligible for legal aid to help with the costs of mediation. It is means-tested, so you must provide proof of your current financial situation to demonstrate your eligibility.

If you have to pay for mediation, ask your mediator what their charges are when you first contact them. You might want to call a few local mediators to compare charges, as these can vary.

Family mediation voucher scheme

The family mediation voucher scheme is a time-limited scheme, designed to support parties who may be able to resolve their family law disputes outside of court. The government has set up the scheme in response to COVID-19 to support recovery in the family court and to encourage more people to consider mediation as a means of resolving their disputes, where appropriate. To support this, a financial contribution of up to £500 towards the costs of mediation will be provided, if eligible. Only mediators authorised by the Family Mediation Council (FMC) are taking part in the voucher scheme. At your MIAM, the mediator will discuss the voucher scheme with you to see if your case might be eligible. You will be offered a ‘voucher’ contribution, subject to suitability, case type, and availability of the vouchers. 

What if we cannot reach an agreement through mediation?

If you cannot reach an agreement with the other participant or mediation fails for any other reason, for example, the other party will not attend or the mediator feels that mediation is unworkable, you may proceed with your dispute to the courts. You must ensure that the mediator signs and certifies your application form.

Where can I find a mediator? 

The Family Mediation Council (FMC) is a not for profit organisation that maintains a professional register of family mediators. It doesn’t provide mediation itself or recommend a particular provider.

You can search the FMC Register for a family mediator who practises near you, either by keying in your postcode or by entering the name of the family mediator.